You're not pregnant.

I spent my life telling everyone I knew (my old lady included) that the perfect number of children was somewhere in the zero range, knowing full well I did not know how many much loin fruit I was willing to harvest. In may, my wife had been really tired she needed naps more often than usual. Being a clueless fellow and knowing little to nothing of the tell tale signs of a mother with a fetus developing inside of her. She had been working long hours and hard days, which obviously, I convinced myself, is why she was so fatigued. My beautiful wife however having much better intuitions spoke with her older sister who had experienced child birth of her own four times over. Her response to Bethany was, "Sounds like you are pregnant." On mothers day unbeknownst to me Bethany and her sister took a little test, after scoring a 165 on an internet iq test, she then took a pregnancy test. It was a warm day just enough breeze to for perfect comfort, I was on the sports court draining 1 in 10 shots as is my skill level when Bethany came out to speak to me. "You know how I have been so tired lately?" "Yeah." "So I just took a pregnancy test." she responded; to which I quickly answered, "Your not pregnant." She produced the dollar store test from her pocket, sure enough 2 pink lines gleamed brightly in my over-sized pupils. I became stunned, absolute mental paralysis was my state. I sat pondering not speaking to anyone at the mothers day event we were attending, my own thoughts were impossible to be gathered. Once the initial shock was alleviated I was able to begin to start preparing to be a daddy, something I knew and know almost nothing about.