To Officer Chapman of the Utach County Sheriffs Office, bravo

I just wanted to send officer Chapman a quick note to let him know he can walk a little taller today having helped so many citizens. I own a 1988 Honda Civic that barely runs. When my wife found out she was pregnant with our first child in may I sold a car I loved and bought something I could afford to buy cash in order to help pay for the birth of our child. My grandfather also recently had open heart surgery and cannot do many of the things he used to be able to do on his own. I worked my full 8 hour day in construction and spent the rest of my evening mowing, edging and furtulizing my grandfathers lawn, I know it is important to him. My Day started at 8:00 this morning, while on my home to wife and daughter at 9:12 pm officer Chapman had the decency to pull me over and let me know he could not see my license plate. Oh yeah I forgot to mention the bolts where the license plate should be mounted are so rusted they cannot be removed and thus I could not mount the plate. I guess officer Chapman should also have his eyes checked since the plate was clearly displayed in my rear window. It's ok I don't expect that much intelligence out of police officers. When he saw my front plate in my glove box, for which the car has no mount being built in 1988, he decided that would be a great opportunity to bump up the charges. Since I did not have my insurance card from my new carrier he also decided to ticket me for that. I just wanted to let him know he is such a great police officer. By giving a ticket for every possible infraction he could to a registered, insured and law abiding citizen he truely was able to serve and protect. I will remember him kindly when each time I pay my taxes and know it is going to such a honest, hard working and productive member of society.


Warm reguards,



Lance Teeples

MLM Language defined

Every now and then my cell phone will ring with the number of a mysterious stranger, I get excited as I nervously push the talk button wondering what interesting person may be on the other end.  Oh my gosh! A friend I have not spoken to in years! After the small talk comes the MLM pitch and at that point I save the number so as to screen future calls thus preventing correspondense.  All pitches contain the same type of "I just got sold on this company at a tuesday night meeting" language, so I have taken it upon myself to define, in lay mans terms, the pitch.

Ground Floor Opportunty: There are only several thousand other people that are big enough suckers to have signed up so far!  Put too much into this and you will be living on a hard cold concrete floor!

Do you have 4 Friends?:  Well soon you won't we will teach you to ostracize yourself from everybody you hold dear.

Residual Income:  You will spend lots of money on products you can pay half for at wal mart, if others are dumb enough to do the same you will get a check every month, so really you will end up with a lot of stuff you don't need and put a couple bucks in my pocket.

What are you doing thursday night?:  Come to a meeting that is second in high pressure only to time share presentations and no there will not be a free ski weekend.

Have not yet hit critical mass:  And never will. Any time and money you will invest will help us get there, however we will always just fall short.

Do you remember me?:  I already talked to everyone I know, now I am just calling random people from high school.

5% of people have 95% of the wealth!:  By joining you will help those 95% get wealthier and you may fall lower in that 5%.

I know people get rich in MLM's but ask yourself are these really people I want to associate with, let alone become?